02 / THE RECEIPT
#2601107Keep the evidence.
Your completely unbiased statement is being prepared.
Entertainment estimate. Bias included.
FOOTBALL PREDICTIONS. QUESTIONABLE LOYALTIES.
The table.
But make it personal.
Run the season. Back your club. Wind up your mates.
The numbers are calculated. The bias is absolutely your fault.
NOT APPROVED
BY YOUR MATES
BY YOUR MATES
Original fan-made league lab.
No betting. No fake AI. No official affiliation.
01 / Settle absolutely nothing.
Change the assumptions. Own the outcome.
Warming up the calculator…
HYPOTHETICAL FINAL TABLE
Calculating
the controversy.
600 simulated run-ins
YOUR CLUB—projected points
YOUR RIVAL—projected finish
RIVAL’S DROP RISK—of simulated seasons
| # | CLUB | AVG PTS | TITLE | TOP 4 | DROP |
|---|
Estimating the run-in, not declaring the future.
03 / IMAGINE THE SCENES
A fixture in your head.
An imagined home match for your club. Not a scheduled fixture. Uses the selected lens and chaos.
MY CLUBvMY RIVAL
— : —
Most likely exact score, not a guaranteed result.
HOME —DRAW —AWAY —
04 / The pub agenda.
Editorial picks from 6–7 Nov 2026. Not a measured trend ranking or live news feed.
NO MYSTERY MACHINE
Show your workings.
Then ignore them.
It’s a mathematical toy with a very honest bias problem. Not AI, calibrated probabilities, betting advice or a promise.
Where the inputs come from
Completed-match points, played counts and goal differences are transcribed from the linked dated table. Other live pages may include provisional in-play points. Nothing auto-refreshes. Editing a club makes this your hypothetical scenario; every club name can be changed.
How the season is calculated
Each club’s starting rating is our heuristic: 50 + 16 × (points per game − 1.35) + 5 × goal difference per game, clamped to 15–90. You can edit it. Bias adds up to 28 rating points to your club and subtracts up to 14 from your rival. The neutral lens removes those boosts; chaos is kept.
We invent a remaining fixture draw with exactly 38 minus played games per club, no self-games and at most two meetings per pair. It is NOT the real schedule and does not account for who already played whom. Each match uses independent Poisson goals with 1.45 home / 1.15 away base means, adjusted by rating differences. We simulate 600 run-ins. Ties use goal difference then alphabetical order, not all official tie-break rules. The table ranks average points; probabilities count outcomes across simulations. Model error is much larger than sampling precision.
Privacy, sharing & common sense
All calculations, settings and up to eight pinned receipts stay in this browser’s local storage. The app never sends your selections or receipts to a server. Cloudflare provides hosting and may inject its existing site analytics/security scripts. Opening source links visits those publishers. Copy and download are local; Share opens your device’s chooser only after you press it. No automatic messages, posting, gambling or paid services.
Original app, graphics and team-focused banter. No official club badges, player images, league marks or copied chants. Independent fan project; no affiliation with the Premier League or any club.